“Just a Friend” 

 ”I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you”… John 15:11-15 (The Message)

How do we love in relationships as people of faith?  A few years back, I was chosen by an elderly friend to walk beside her when she could no longer be independent.  The first step of love was to listen…she often mentioned how hard it was to rely on me for help.  She was right, I had more control of my life, yet, our friendship gave me a chance to explore the process of growing older.  It also provided an opportunity of gratitude for the freedoms I did have.  Being part of her world brought a depth to mine. 

As mentioned in the Scripture passage above, there was certainly joy.  Our time together was at a much slower pace than time with my teens.  We talked and I rediscovered joy in just spending time together.  Her room became a sanctuary from the fast pace of life with a guaranteed “glad to see you!”  When we journeyed out, people would ask if I was her daughter.  I would hold back   a grin as she stated that she had never married so she had better not have kids.  The usual silence that followed was a witness to generations that have experienced very little commitment to marriage.  Her words gave them a chance to consider another way.  Our time together also became a discovery of simple joys, like a ride past the lake or a lunch of protein and vegetables in the form of carrot cake.

This time also brought some surprises.  When helping facilitate a doctor’s visit early in the journey, the doctor pulled me aside to let me know that I didn’t have to do this – the state had people to do this.  I was speechless; when asked by a friend for help that I could provide, he thought that I should require a stranger to do it.  “How did you meet?” was a common question.  It was a joy to say church but the friendship developed during our time at MAP…she wiped trays and I helped cook.  I found that our society has been trained to be suspicious.  My motives in this friendship were always questioned by others.  Could I really be just a friend without an agenda of abuse?  We grew to understand the definition of friend: somebody who trusts and is fond of another.      She would often say, “I’m not coming if she’s not with me” in new situations.  The journey was now ours.

I have shared my journey to challenge discussion about friends in the coming month.  The valentines are in the store.  What does true love look like?  What have you discovered in your journeys of love with friends?  Slow down, discover joy, and share.

Cheryl Youngquist, Coordinator of Family Ministries
cheryl.youngquist@gmail.com
616-844-6142

“Here’s how the American Heritage Dictionary defines Thanksgiving: ‘an expression of gratitude, especially to God: a hymn of thanksgiving.’  (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009.) Wikepeida goes on to describe gratitude as a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.  Do we give thanks for that which we will receive?

“In families, I have found it helpful to use words such as wants and needs.  Take time to express gratitude for the provision of needs.  Each month, I’m humbled by the people at Mission for Area People that thank us for cooking and serving the meal.  There have been months when getting to MAP to cook feels like a chore in the busyness of life. When this act of gratitude for the meal is expressed, my attitude is changed to thanksgiving.  Do we thank God for our daily provision of food, along with thanks to those who cooked it?

“ What would our lives look like if we found gratitude in the daily chores of life?  As we fold laundry, could we express thanks for all the clothes we do have?  As we labor over lessons for school, are we grateful for the teachers, the books, and the ability to go to school?   Do we thank God for the daily provision of food whether it comes in the form of subsidized meals, food pantries, home cooked, or ordered out?  Gratitude yields a positive emotion in what may seem a negative attitude.  Are we willing to bring some positive emotion into the lives around us?  By giving thanks we can!

 ”Is gratitude rare?  Check out Luke 17:11-19.  Will we be the ones who give thanks to God for all we do have and trust for what will come in the future?  We might even break out in hymns!

 ”For information on Thanksgiving Day, including activities to keep little ones busy, history of its origin, and recipes check out: 

• For crafts, activities and food click here.
• For the history of Thanksgiving click here.
• For children’s activities, stories and games click here.
• For a menu of the first Thanksgiving click here.”